Best Relationship Books Every Couple Should Read

 Best Relationship Books Every Couple Should Read

Maintaining a healthy relationship takes work. Not only romantic relationships, but relationships with children, relatives, and even friends.1 It is important to consistently nurture each relationship, learn effective communication, and conflict resolution, while remaining true to yourself and your emotional needs. "Your time will tell you how you feel about yourself," says Kelly Campbell, a professor of psychology. So the happier you are, the more fulfilling your other relationships will be. One way to improve relationships with others and yourself is to read books by great authors that offer practical tools to implement in your everyday life. To find out about the best relationship books for effective communication, we asked Campbell for his best tips for healthy relationships and being a better partner, friend, family member and person in general.

Read the best relationship books for effective communication. I don't know about you, but most of my life I've thought that relationships are something you learn through experience and a lot of trial and error. They just can't seem to learn. As it turns out, I was completely wrong. The ability to be a good partner and friend isn't something you're born with—it's a learned skill, and we can all think twice about it from time to time. After all, many factors affect how we function in our relationships, from past baggage to personal communication style, and the more you understand, the better equipped you are to actually connect and show up with others. There are several ways to dive. ~ knowledge of your connections ~. Relationship books include books written by relationship professionals such as couples therapists, counselors, and psychologists. Below are some books that we (including myself) have found really helpful in learning about ourselves, how we relate to others, and how we can improve as partners and friends. Communication skills and social skills are called "skills" and require learning, practice, and improvement for a reason. Limited communication leads to many of these skills, and disconnection leads to feelings of fear, stress, anxiety, and depression.

Relationships require knowing yourself in addition to knowing other people. With enough thought, consideration, and attention to your feelings, you can strengthen romantic relationships, family relationships, friendships, and work relationships. "A healthy relationship allows you to balance being a strong individual," says psychotherapist and relationship expert Dr. Jamie Brodarick. The best relationship book on the market, according to licensed mental health counselors.

 

1.     GETTING THE LOVE YOU WANT

BY: HARVILLE HENDRIX 

Are all your relationships like that? Do you keep dating people who act like your mom/dad? Why are most of your fights about stupid and stupid looking for shit that can't be left behind. Why it's good: I read Getting the Love You Want 10 years ago and it killed me. We are all familiar with the Freudian idea that we must repeat our childhood traumas in our adult relationships by meeting our mother/father. But at the same time, the idea always feels like a bull's eye. But then you grow up and get into a serious relationship and you start seeing your partner leave a mess all over the house like your dad and the holy grail drives you crazy because it reminds you of the chaos and uncertainty of your childhood and all. What I want to do is BECOME WHAT I WANT TO HAPPEN!

Enter: Harville Hendrix. Hendrix provides a real, logical and reasoned explanation of why our relationships are affected by the most difficult places. Basically, our relationship with our parents teaches us what love means, how it feels to be accepted, how to be a good person, etc. it's about us drawing our "emotional map", which filters what interests us as adults. We experience strong chemistry with some people because, unknown to us, they represent love, acceptance, compassion, etc. show our definition. Next thing you know, you're sleeping with chicks like your mother.

Knowing your parents' definition of love doesn't necessarily fix anything, it just gives you a road map to guide your own love life. In fact, Hendrix called this "emotional map". We all have. We all love to read them. So he came to help us.

2.     HOLD ME TIGHT

                BY: SUE JOHNSON

Sue Johnson is the founder of Emotionally-Focused Therapy (EFT), which has won an Olympic gold medal for "Therapeutic Technique That Opens the Most Relationships". Of all the forms of couples therapy and marriage counseling, EFT seems to have the highest ratings. So what is Sue Johnson's big success? This is one of those things that seems so obvious, but has eluded psychologists for 100 years. Johnson realizes that romantic relationships are mostly about unconscious emotions and desires (sidenote: duh). Controversy, memories, and personality, that's what most people are interested in, secondary to the main emotional pain in each person. Johnson then came up with a great idea to change everything else, if this is an emotional problem, let's try to find an emotional solution, and voila! People stop hating each other. Hold Me Tight explores a) the emotional patterns we experience when we are hurt and hurt in our relationships, and b) the conversations we can have to help break those patterns. This is an easy read. It is also popular. My advice for any relationship is on the ropes. What will prevent a breakup: You have a ton of emotional baggage that you'll probably talk about for the next six years and never unpack.

 

3.     7 PRINCIPLES THAT MAKE MARRIAGE WORK

BY: JOHN GOTTMAN 

What you will learn: this fight is natural. Not all problems need to be solved. The silent treatment is often just as bad (or worse) than screaming your throat out. Basically, this book really makes relationships work.

Why it's good: Gottman is like Marco Polo researching relationships. He ventured into the unknown and brought an exotic academic subject: metrics and scientific rigor to the relationship. Before Gottmann, all we had was grandma's wisdom and what Freud said. But Gottman paved the way for our first solid academic answer to what makes a relationship work and what makes it break. Gottman famously studied conflict in relationships and created a system that predicted whether a couple would last. Five more years with 90% accuracy. Along the way, he found various counterintuitive results that make the relationship work in the long term. Good. Gottman has written several relationship books, but I found this one to be the most accessible and the best written. It is also the most popular. While Hold Me Tight about how to fix things after you screw them up, 7 Principles That Make Marriage Work explains how to keep things from screwing up in the first place.

What Kind of Break Up It Will Prevent: A truly dramatic episode involving a broken plate and a bowl of soup. If it's over, you know it's over for the best.

 

          4. MODELS: ATTRACT WOMEN                          THROUGH HONESTY

                                                    BY: MARK MANSON

What You'll Learn: I know, it sounds like a "yeah, get a chick, brah" book, but the third part is mostly about developing emotional maturity and mostly about coming together and becoming a better person. Why it's good: Okay, I know it's not fun to write down your throat. But this is my site, my article, so wrong. I'm kicking ass! Additionally, Models has been a men's dating book for six years. Women and LGBT people have also read it and said they like it. In fact, the reason the book has lasted so long is because of the emotional experience of dating, and how we idealize people; we are often motivated by insecurity; How our desperation destroys relationships before they even begin—and then makes people learn how to fix their emotional game. This book is completely without "lines" or "tactics" because... if you are honest about who you are and what you want, you don't need lines or tactics. If you live with honesty and integrity, dating becomes only a matter of: a) being someone who is proud to share, and b) developing the courage to share. This is it!

 

           5.     5 LOVE LANGUAGES

BY: GARY CHAPMAN

What You'll Learn: A simple tool for understanding how people express and receive love. (SPOILER ALERT: Not everyone expresses or receives love in the same way!)

Why it's good: 5 Love Languages ​​is like Harry Potter from relationship books: everyone reads it (or lies and says they do), and Gary Chapman lives in a $100 million castle somewhere that sweeps his ass with a royal check. This book has sold more copies than anyone knows what to do with, and it's easy to see why: This is a short book. simple house. A strong mind. This idea persists because it is useful. The idea is that people express and receive love in different "love languages". Physical touch, verbal confirmation, gifting, service operation and quality time. Many problems arise in relationships because one person gives love in one language (lots of gifts, verbal praise) and the other seeks love in another language (quality time, physical touch). As a result, those who give love are not appreciated and those who seek love are not loved. I summed up about half the book in that paragraph. But you have to hold on. It's like $6 on Amazon and can be read all day long. But memories stay with you for life. I bought her a copy when my wife and I moved in, and we've had several conversations about our love languages ​​since then. It's amazing how useful that concept is. Types of breakup to avoid: The relationship will not work out, but at least you will not be complaining that your ex never did anything ... ok, let's be real, you will probably complain.

 

6.     When Sorry Isn't Enough 

By: GARY CHAPMAN AND JENNIFER THOMAS

There are times in every relationship when you can't cover up with sadness. Chapman and Thomas break down what makes an apology meaningful and how to repair strained relationships from romantic partners to friends and family. Can you guess what it entails? Honesty, a quality Campbell says, is important in every relationship we share.

Even in the best of relationships, we all make mistakes. Lately, we do and say things that hurt and hurt the people we love the most. So you have to do the right thing. But simply saying sorry is usually not enough. In this book, #1 New York Times bestselling authors Gary Chapman and Jennifer Thomas reveal new ways to effectively deal with and repair broken relationships. Better yet, you'll find that an apology can make your friendships, family, and marriage stronger than ever.

Sorry, not enough to help you. . .

Cool down heated arguments

My apologies are fully accepted

Rethink love covered with pain. Rebuild and strengthen valuable relationships. Trade tired excuses for honesty, trust, and happiness.

 

7. Tiny Beautiful Things: Advice on Love and Life from Dear Sugar

Cheryl Strayed may be best known for writing The Wild, but before she became a household name, she was the obscure advice writer for The Rumpus. The book, ``Little Beautiful Things,'' is a compilation of the questions she received and the heartfelt advice given by her nickname Sugar, as well as her writing about her experiences. A universal self-help memoir that will encourage personal growth and compassion for others.

 

8. The Wisdom of Sundays: Life-Changing Insights from Super Soul Conversations

By: OPRAH WINFERY 

Let the perennial self-help icon Oprah Winfrey turn her favorite life lessons into an inspirational book. Sunday Wisdom brings together over 200 hours of interviews with social workers like her on her show, Super Soul Sunday, to teach us how to live with more fulfillment, connection, and gratitude.

 

9. Tell Me More, Stories About the 12 Hardest Things I'm Learning to Say 

BY: KELLY CORRIGAN

According to Campbell, you can tell if your relationship is healthy "if you are happy or doing well at least 80 percent of the time." Campbell said that while journalism can be helpful, it's not always easy to understand, so page-turners like "Tell Me More" can be entertaining. The book uses a collection of essays to show that the various relationships in our lives involve something. While showing that she's not always right, Corrigan offers a hopeful, funny, and intimate lesson that feels universal about the many layers of our relationships.

 

10.  I'll Push You: A Journey of 500 Miles, Two Best Friends, and One Wheelchair 

Calling all friendships: Patrick Gray and Justin Skesuk's lifelong relationship could set a new standard. The book follows Skeesuk, a wheelchair user with multiple motor axonopathy, neurovascular disease and Gray, as he treks Spain's grueling Camino de Santiago over 34 days. Two profound examples can be found in their friendship, which Campbell calls "the family we can do." "When things are good, they are there to celebrate our success.

 

11. Things I Wish I'd Known Before We Got Married by Gary chapman

 Gary Chapman appears on this list again for his impressive book on marriage. Similar to his thoughts in The Five Love Languages, Campbell thinks this book can help because it teaches you to figure out what you want before entering into a relationship, even one as serious as marriage. "You have to know yourself and know your limits, because if you don't, you can end up in a situation where you're uncomfortable and you don't feel right," she said.

 

12. I Hear You: The Surprisingly Simple Skill Behind Extraordinary Relationships

How much self-esteem do you just want to have validated? This is the back of this book, which shows you how to communicate using this powerful skill. Once you understand what the person is saying, you can use affirmations to prove it. This is even more important in romantic relationships, where Campbell believes that "partners mold each other to their ideals." She says that "everyone has a unique idea of ​​who they want to be, and a healthy relationship helps you become that person."

 

13. Happiness Is a Choice You Make 

BY: JOHN IELAND

In this engaging book, Leland talks to six New Yorkers to see what life lessons they can share with others about finding personal happiness. But there is a catch: Everyone Leland talks to is at least 85 years old. What they describe speaks to Campbell's advice that in order to be happy, we must first respect ourselves. "Treat yourself like you would treat your friends," she says

 

14. Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find-and Keep-Love

Those of us who find pleasure in the collection of scientific facts and data will leave The Bound. Our attachment style, also known as insecure or insecure, comes from our earliest relationships, says Campbell, and we need to be aware of what style we use to communicate these feelings to our partners. Good news? With recognition and practice, we can learn how to adopt healthier attachment styles. "It's a socialized thing, not a biological thing," he said.

 

15.   Getting the Love You Want 

BY: DR. HARVILLE HENDRIX

Getting the Love You Want has been helping couples build more loving and fulfilling relationships since 1988. With the 20th anniversary edition, you get access to an extensive version, including new chapters and new exercises. Dr. Hendrix's updated philosophy for eliminating all negativity in couples' daily interactions is also shared, so you can benefit from the discoveries made since the first edition was published.

 

16. The Relationship Cure 

BY: DR. JOHN GOTTMAN

In another excellent guide, Relationship Therapy by relationship expert Dr. John Gottman, he offers a simple 5-step program to improve every relationship in your life, from spouses to siblings. Discover the key elements of a healthy relationship and learn about empowering tools to increase your desire for emotional connection and how you respond to others' suggestions.

 

17.   Mindful Relationship Habits 

BY: SJ SCOTT AND BARRIE DAVENP

A useful practice that can be incorporated into many areas of your conscious life, why not your relationship? Amid daily challenges, responsibilities, and (and sometimes distracting) challenges, this book will help you develop memorable relationship skills to prioritize your relationship and maintain only positive relationships with your partner.

 

    

 

18.  I Want This to Work

 BY: ELIZABETH EARNSHAW

You Want It to Work: Elizabeth Earnshaw's Comprehensive Guide to Solving the Most Challenging Relationships We Face Today. Elizabeth Earnshaw really talks about the complexities and struggles of modern relationships and your hands with tools and skills... One thing I really like is inclusiveness. It should be at the top of your TBR.